skip to Main Content
Writing: What If You’re Not Brave Enough To Publish A Memoir Using Your Own Name?

Writing: What if you’re not brave enough to publish a memoir using your own name?

Jay Artale Content Marketing Manager at ALLiMemoirs can take on many forms, but at the heart of a readable memoir is honest and genuine writing. Jay Artale, co-host of our Beginners' Self-Publishing Salon podcast, looks at the challenges of writing a memoir and shares a selection of articles that offer tips and inspiration to overcome the writing dilemmas that are getting in the way of self-publishing your own memoir.

In the worst memoirs, you can feel the author justifying himself – forgiving himself – in every paragraph. In the best memoirs, the author is tougher on him- or herself than his or her readers will ever be. Darin Strauss

Bodrum EarthquakesI was texting on Skype with David Penny the other day. He's one of the co-hosts of our Members' Q&A podcast, and is one of the co-organizers of our 3X a year Indie Author Fringe online conference. But we weren't chatting about work.

We were procrastinating on our respective writing projects, and because there had been nearly 500 aftershocks after the recent earthquake in Bodrum where I'm living (and I also spent 20+ years living on a fault-line in Los Angeles), we engaged in some time-wasting banter about what I should call my memoir (if I ever finish it). My favorite offering from David was “At the Crack of Dawn” because I loved the association with waking up to the sound of the Güneş Ezan (call to prayer), which happens at dawn from our neighborhood mosque before the sun appears. My best efforts were “My Faulty Life”, “All my Faults”, and “Faulty Towers”!

Choosing a title is just one of the decisions to be made when writing and self-publishing a memoir. I started work on my own life-transition memoir about nine years ago when we purchased our house in Turkey and I began implementing my escape plan from my enjoyable, but predictable, corporate 9-5 in Los Angeles. This writing project is sleeping quietly in a Scrivener folder in Dropbox and at the bottom of my current priority list, I'm just not sure if I'm ready “put myself out there” with that memoir, but I am nudging another memoir-style book towards the finish line.

Dear Reflection: I Never Meant to be a Rebel.Are you brave enough to write an honest memoir?

It takes a brave author to write honestly and brutally about their life's events and experiences. One of our ALLi members, Jessica Bell, recently published a revealing and candid memoir called Dear Reflection: I Never Meant to be a Rebel. 

It's authors like this who inspire and motivate the rest of us to take that leap of faith to transport our life's adventures and misadventures onto a page with words.

If you're considering writing a memoir and need some motivation from writer's who have gone down a similar path, here's a selection of blog posts from this website to add fuel to your inspirational fire.

You have to be driven to write a memoir, and your book needs to be a journey of discovery for you as the author, and more importantly, your readers. A memoir can entertain, educate, or inform – but the most powerful memoirs also inspire. If it doesn't play any of those roles, then don't waste your time writing it.

Reasons for Writing a Memoir

When Elaine Pereira self-published her memoir, it not only helped her cope with the loss of her mother to Alzheimer’s-related dementia, it offered comfort and inspiration to readers who were experiencing the same challenges and experiencing similar emotions.

I'm currently writing a poetry collection about my mother's own journey down the Alzheimer's path, and one line from Elaine's blog post resonated with me,

You have to laugh in order to survive.

My Alzheimer's poetry collection is a mixture of wry, heart-felt and LOL inducing poetry designed to show the turmoil and the lighter-side of the Alzheimer's experience. As a writer, your goal is to engage and move your reader, and sharing personal story is an ideal way to provide the author with a cathartic release, and your reader to feel connected. I usually write travel guides so this diversion into writing about something so personal is a big leap. If you're feeling the same reticence about putting your own name to your words, what are your options?

You can turn your fact into fiction or publish your memoir under a pen name.

Turning Fact into Fiction

You may not be ready to spill your guts in a warts and all memoir, so another option would be to turn your fact into fiction. Helena Halme started to write and autobiography, but new plot lines and characters kept infiltrating the story, so about half way through the writing process she decided she'd give in to my novelist tendencies and carry on writing a fictionalised book of the true story.

In an another article, Helena provides us with 10 tips for turning Fact into Fiction, to create a fictionalized version of your memoir.

Using a Pen Name for your Memoir

If you're going to write a memoir it has to be anchored in the truth, but how much truth do you reveal? And if you feel you've revealed too much or have been too honest, you could self-publish your memoir under a pen name.

British indie author Denise Barnes shares the story behind her pen-name for her debut book.

I toyed around with the idea of using a pen name for my Alzheimer's poetry collection, but am throwing caution to the wind and claiming it as my own. Maybe this first step into the memoir arena will inspire me to finish the one memoir languishing in my Dropbox.

Writing: Are you brave enough to publish a #memoir using your own name? Share on X


This Post Has 9 Comments
  1. Im glad I came across this article.
    I read a lot of books that people have written about their lives etc. I would like to do the same… but I want to protect myself and my children and my sister and her children the most so I wont use names. wounds are still raw and we are still on a journey of healing.

  2. When you write a memoir, you involve other people. I think it is perfectly acceptable to use a pen name if an author wants to put out their story yet respect the privacy of others. Even if you change the names of the people in the book, the people in the book will figure it is about them if the stories are true and so may others knowing who the author is.

  3. I think it’s not about bravery to use your real name. Does it really matter who the author is? It should be about the story right? I don’t think that you are not brave if you don’t want to use your real name when you are writing about your life, your truth. In my opinion you are brave for getting your story out there, how shocking it might be. I choose to write under my real name, yes.
    But I do understand if writers feel the need use a Pseudonym. It might be to protect others. Your children, family maybe? Some stories can be dangerous to be told. Mine would fit in that category.
    If I would decide to use a pseudonym after all. It would be only to protect my loved ones. Does this make me a coward? No, it just allows me to write more freely without the fear what can happen if “those people” will read it. Not scared about my life, I am passed that. I don’t want my children to be the victim of me telling my truth.
    Currently I am writing with the intent to publish it under my real name. To inspire and help other “human trafficking” and “narcissistic abuse” survivors or victims who are still trapped in this way to cruel, inhuman circumstances, trying to find a way out.
    But if I find that my story, my life could be hurtful for people around me, I will use a pseudonym. After all, I am not writing my memoir, my life for me, but to spread the HOPE for all the people out there that healing is possible and how I dealt with it. In the hope they will find some tools to use in their own lives. To find the courage through my book to escape and learn from my mistakes.
    Hopefully to save them years of struggling because of my boldness to think that once I run away it will all end. Big mistake to do when you don’t have a plan of action and finding yourself trapped again in the hands of other traffickers.
    I want to point out my mistakes and turn them into lessons, it can save a lot woman/young girls/boys lives. Better yet, prevent them to fall into these traps in the first place.
    That’s my aim, even if use my real name:”Emine Pala” or a pseudonym “……..”, as long as the message/lessons and aim is clear and inspiring to the readers to take action, that’s all that matters.
    with much respect,

    1. You have nailed it. I penned my memoir under a pseudonym strictly to avoid publicizing hurtful anecdotes involving family members who would absolutely not want their stories told in such intimate detail. Like you, I see nothing dishonest in that. Best wishes for continued healing and the ability to reach others who need to read your message.

      1. Stella, memoir under a pseudonym.
        Does that change the story from a Memoir to a Novel?
        I’m like you. I don’t want to use real names.

  4. I face a an unusual problem that I haven’t read about yet on-line: I’m not worried about my family reading my memoir but business colleagues because I do public relations for a living.

    Any advice from anyone would be appreciated! Thanks!

    Patrice Palma

    1. Do what feel right to you dear. I have written my thoughts about it above. You are already brave. It would be a huge loss if your memoir is not getting published because of fear to use your real name or not. If you think your memoir is worth to be told, go for it. Use whatever your name you like.

  5. It’s really hard to take a step beyond what scares us the most, or in this case what scares me the most. I am afraid of being tossed to the lions. No, actually, I am afraid of being excluded from society, pointed a finger at and judged by all.

    However, as time passes I feel as if the calling is getting stronger and that it is time to take action. It is a calling that cannot be ignored, because it is a part of my purpose, a purpose to share with others what I have experienced and learned from both love, hate, war and tragedy.
    I pray for the strength to be persistent and to write without fear.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Latest advice, news, ratings, tools and trends.

Back To Top
×Close search